Category: Stressors

Be You When Others Matter

I overthink everything, leading to some ridiculously magnified indecisiveness. The overthought thoughts in question can physically manifest themselves in many ways. It can look as simple as carrying a pair of jeans around a department store for an hour before I decide whether or not to purchase them, or as important and multifaceted as when we were deciding where to send the kids to school (and I bugged all my relatives and friends in different school districts for intimate, silly details about those schools). But here’s the thing, it’s not because I don’t know what I want-it’s because I don’t know what everyone else wants. That’s stressful!


Why do I do it? Why do I walk around beating myself up? Why do I stress myself out? Why do I care so much about disappointing people and how does that apply to these stupid jeans I’m carrying around? And the people whose judgement I’m adding into the question… I’m fairly positive they don’t even look at my jeans! Why do we do these things?


For me, a lot of the worrying that stemmed from the fear of disapproval tended to surround bigger life decisions. My parents, my extended family, and even people at church were high on my list of people to impress or at least to do well by; most especially at the top of this list are my father and my grandmothers (even though one of them has been dead for years now). I wanted them to approve of me, and more so, to be proud of me.


You’ll notice my kids and my husband were not on that list. They should’ve been at the top. At the time, they were not. It took years for me to realize this and to understand the small cracks of derision it had caused.
Now, there are other reasons (beside the inane judgements of others) to overthink and come to indecisive conclusions. Continuing with the jeans example, it was a whole inner argument in and of itself as to whether I really needed jeans, or if I could just walk around in the holey, oversized ones for a while longer. There are always so many other things- I have to take some snazzy dish to the church picnic this weekend; the porch could use painted-do I need to spend this money? The more I learned about myself though, the more I realized that these money type decisions.. well, they were just a little root from the bigger problem; why would I buy myself something when I could use that money to improve something more relevant for gaining the approval of others in the long run?


These days, I am trying to keep myself reminded that those people who I had been basing my decisions around: they don’t have to live with the consequences of my choices. I do. I have to do right by myself so that I’m a better mom and wife to the people who really matter most, and, for me, I want to do right by my heavenly Father, and sometimes (most of time) that means not taking into account what other people would say. God has blessed me with this insight into myself, and it has improved my relationship with myself, with my husband, with my children, and even has improved my spiritual peace. My extended family of course matters, but not to the extent it effects my health. I also finally realized, they didn’t want that either. 


Is there someone in your life whose opinion you prize maybe a little too heavily? Is this causing you unneeded stress?

RJ

Please follow and like us:

Dishware vs Papergoods

With so many people trying to find time for more family time as opposed to work, errands, and school activities, there comes a time you have to tell yourself it’s okay to make shortcuts where you can. Dishes is one of those areas I don’t have trouble doing shortcuts.

Back when I grew up, which was late 1960’s- early 1980’s, I remember coming to the dinner table to eat and it was set fully including food. Everyone had a designated seat and unless someone was gone, we all ate at once. Dishes were glass plates, three piece silverware, glasses. The food was in bowls, biscuits or rolls were on a plate and we came to the table when we were called. 

Flash forward to the year 2010 or later…

Having dinner on the stove in one pot, a vegetable in a side pot or pulled as a steamed veggie from the microwave and set on stove, and the rolls pulled from oven and set on stove. People are called to eat buffet style and then they go to a table, bar top or couch in front of the TV. Whats the one thing I haven’t mentioned that is missing? Dishware. Choice at my house? Paper plates and plastic cups. 

Now you may say what happened to the family values. Well, Im not saying I did anything different based on who was there and how we interact. I just choose to pick what I want to spend my time on. Sure, I could set table and put food on it. I would be in the kitchen longer with more dishes and less time for me or my family.

The table talk for today is buy the paper and plastic dishware. Get out of the kitchen quicker. Life is too short to spend it at the sink!

RJ

Please follow and like us:

Click N Pull-Save Time!

Anyone who has ever had to go the grocery, after work on a Monday at 5:30, in the rain, maybe even with a child knows the frustration of just hating it. Why? We are tired! These superstores have made it impossible to get a quick gallon of milk as their marketing team says in the back corner is good placement since the customer will pick something else up on the way to the milk. And guess what? Those marketing teams are right.

Now I’m going to preface this by saying I am not affiliated with, paid by, or even know anyone at Kroger Corporate, but online shopping for groceries has become my new favorite thing. I don’t even care that it costs me $4.95 an order. I probably saved that much doing it. My Kroger marketplace is fantastic as it has Click N Pull. You order online and pick it up in 24 hours. I always set my time for 5:30 pm and go right there from work. Better still, I don’t have to get out of the car at all. I pay at my window and the employee loads.

My store now has that if you place an order early enough in the day, you can pick it up the same day! What!?!  I KNOW RIGHT!?!  I don’t even mind if they are a little backed up. I have a mentally stressful job and I enjoy just sitting in my car, giving them the time they need to make it to my turn. Best $4.95 I spend in a week. It is a YUGE 😉 time savor for people wanting to get on to more important things.

If you haven’t tried it, give it a one time try. I believe Kroger gives you first couple for no fee. I may be wrong about that, but it’s definitely worth it.

RJ

Please follow and like us:

We all oversleep at some point!

Have you ever woken up, looked sleepily into the eyes of your cat and realize it was way more light in your room than it should be?? Believe me, that oversleeping feeling is the worst. “Oh crap!”

I personally end up spending my morning back tracking from bathroom to kitchen, over thinking my whole routine in a confused daze. I have learned that I might as well slow down, take a deep breath, and accept that a shower is not happening! Probably not even a flat iron ran through my hair! I’m too old for the “clip it” method. You know the method. Pulling only the top layer of your hair up for a clip or scrunchy: the bedhead go to.  Yea, that can’t happen for me anymore. 

Just say a quick prayer, brush your teeth, put on your clothes (hope they’re clean), throw a protein bar in your bag, don’t forget your coffee, and say to the mirror, “That’s as good as you get today!” LOL  Go out and enjoy your day! Ignore the stares as people judge your hair in mocking silence. Just be you for life!

RJ

Please follow and like us:

Tree’s Can Help With Our Stress

Hello! I thought I’d explain the reason for my choice in my logo. I have a great love of trees. If you ever just sit quietly in your backyard on a warm breezy day, a tree can tell you a lot. In an indirect sort of way, I think of it as an exercise in learning from trees.

You could look at trees in a negative way like saying that they are planted firmly in the ground and they can never move. So if making it a reference to yourself, tree-like people are stubborn.

I choose to think of a tree as planted firmly in good ground. Moving with the breeze and being flexible in the way the wind blows you but still continuing to grow in strength.

The tree starts as a seedling, growing up extending and adding branches as it gets older. The branches could represent the hobbies or interests a person does as they get older or how extended family adds to their own trees growth as in life.

The different colors represent the different areas in your life, interests, or family members, their differences, their diversity. All while being a strong tree. Be You For Life in each of your families and show that diversity can make us stronger.

RJ 

Please follow and like us: